Ian Bell: The Complete Tweets.
Neil asked, so this is what there is (or was). The truncated ones were meant as jokes (until, amusingly, that ceased). According to their timing, I Iasted from 4.44pm, when the clock struck 13, on September 28 until 1.38pm on September 30. I got time off in between for subversive behaviour.
Banned twice? I haven’t been banned twice since the Scotsman was a power in the land and all referees had Tynecastle season tickets.
For a couple, it helps if you like Curtis Mayfield. If you don’t, I might not be the person you’re looking for.
As a serious point, since Twitter claims not to monitor and I make a point of staying legal, what happened and why? Open to quibbles, as ever, from maquisards.
This might be fun. The British state has forgotten how to be the British state. That used to be called an opportunity.
Scotland's nationalists have meanwhile forgotten how to be nationalists. Elsewhere, paint is drying.
My, but it's dark in here. Perhaps we could go back to the elementary and set light to something?
"Scotland unfree will never be at peace". Any chimes? "The cause of labour is the cause of Scotland"? This isn't even original.
No nation was ever made politely. Someone should have told us.
And as I continue to ask optimistic friends, what happens if the day is lost? Take to the maquis? Where is that, in your head or your life?
Those better days in that better, imagined nation are fine tales for our children. I'd shield them. But bastards are back. Tool up.
The nation that fails to identify itself is asking to have its passport questioned. It volunteers for the body search. Ever had one?
Eight tweets and suspended. What they always said: "Must Try Harder".
Still, corporate ghouls, want to take a crack at that apology thing? Some of us can still spell defamation.
As our favourite Kircudbright pirate almost said, "I have not begun to jack you around".
Ah, well. Better get back to labouring the obvious. Anyone seen the tools?
With hindsight, I'm annoyed that it took eight tweets. That's like occupying the GPO on a Tuesday.
"Move On Up": all the politics you will ever need.
But then, was there a politics shortage? I'm just trying to work out my tweet ratio before another proud Unionist says that it's an outr...
Never - never ever - listen to edits of Curtis Mayfield. It's offensive, wrong and arguably an assault on human rights.
Before another proud Unionist says it's an outrageous ass...
Those of you who have a grasp on what matters in life can have a go at this. What would Curtis Mayfield have said of Scotland now?
But before another "Scottish and British" Unionist says it must be stopped right